MMM MORE MEN

Just like homos did in the ’70s, Mormons are coming out. Once a super-secretive Christian sect known for wearing magic long underwear, the Church of Latter Day Saints has come flying out of its Utah closet and is popping up in the most unlikely places. HBO has a bona fide hit on their hands with the polygamist shenanigans of Big Love, former (and future?) U.S. presidential candidate Mitt Romney is one, and Mr. Internet Porn himself, Sean Cody, credits his straight-goes-gay empire on rebellion against a strict Mormon upbringing.

On May 15, our LDS friends celebrate the 118th anniversary of the day their founder, Joseph Smith, met up with biblical bad boy John the Baptist to talk theology over, well, not drinks… or coffee. What better way to celebrate than by ordering the 2009 “Men on a Mission” calendar?

Dreamed up by a now-excommunicated Brigham Young University student Chad Hardy, “Men on a Mission” hopes to shake up the short-sleeve, button-down image of young Mormon men. But we’ve been down this road before with religious hunk calendars. (Remember the Vatican’s “Calendario Romano?” A huge disappointment to anyone without a cassock fetish.) “Men on a Mission,” on the other hand, gives good softcore thanks to the oiled-up poses of a dozen fresh-faced and bare-chested believers, all back from a mandatory two-year missionary stint in which they spread the gospel and, apparently, pumped hella iron. The website (mormonsexposed.com) alone is worth a visit, as pictures of the boys in their shirtsleeves and ties morph into beefcake before your eyes.

Confidential to Cody (“Mr. April”) and Christopher (“Mr. August”), let’s get together and see who converts whom first.